KIM SCHOFFSTALL: Journal

Here I am, a musician. Listening my whole life as close as I can up to the speaker. What did she say, what was that word? I would turn it up a little louder, turn up the treble, turn down the bass; get close to the speaker.

As I learned to play the guitar I would relish the vibration, the sound being so close to my body. As I sang, I could feel the sound within me. I worked on my diction.

I had been working on my speech since I was a child. Way back since first grade, when they discovered I had speech problem because of a hearing loss.

They figured out that the nerve damage must have happened when my mother had a seizure 3 weeks before I was born from eclampsia. I was then born a month early at 3 lbs. 13 oz. and spent a month in NICU gaining weight before I could come home.

I had speech classes during school. I sat in the front of the class. Other than that, no one really knew. I missed things: jokes, when someone called me from behind, things on the t.v.... I looked sometimes like I was out of it. But, really I just couldn't hear.

There was no hearing aid for nerve deafness back then. There were only hearing aids for the extremely deaf. So, I learned to read lips.

Singing has always been a bit of speech therapy for me, just with singing. I had to try a little harder, not hearing the "s, ch, th and hs" clearly. I still don't pronounce my h's correctly. Just ask my kids. They think it's a riot.

Four years ago, I got my first hearing aid. $1,600 for one ear. I needed them for both, but who can afford that?

Birds... did you know you can hear them from inside your house? And water... did you know that it makes a sound when it goes under your tire on the road? I could hear children whispering, misbehaving during church (what a wonderful sound). I could hear my children speak when they were in the car, even from the back seat. Restaurants were now a social place, not a place of isolation. I didn't miss jokes, ends of sentences... I didn't look like I didn't know what was going on.

My hearing aid just died yesterday. I am missing it, and taking it to the shop to get it fixed hopefully they can do that and I don't have to buy a whole new one.

But, here I am this being created to love sound, produce sound and create sound in song/through my voice. Yet I cannot hear even the simplest sounds.

This morning when I took the dogs out, I could see the birds; but they made no sound. The trees moved, but the wind was silent.

I will never know or understand all these things. But, it is part of who I am.

Until the day when I am complete from the inside out and hear all sound as well, I will wonder. But, even in the stillness, I will praise Him.

I thought I was living my life. I get up, go to work, come home to a half clean house, everything half done. Cook dinner, give everyone a kiss and go to bed. Insert church on Sunday, and then you have the week. That's the simplified version.

You know how you feel at the end of the day when you had that one thing you needed to get done and you couldn't get it done. Or that one thing that you wanted to get done, and didn't have time? Then multiply that by a week, a month, a year. Where did the time go? Is that living?

When someone dies who you love, to me it is like a bomb explodes in your life and levels the ground. It gets rid of dust, clutter and the other thoughts that have been in the way of what is really important.

What do you love? What can you not live without? Does everything you are doing support that? Would other people know that about you?

I just have to get back to the basics. I don't mind being busy, but doing what? I want to make a difference in my children's lives. I want to help my parents who are getting older. I want to be available. I want to have time to nurture myself so I have something to give to others. That is living. That to me is doing God's will. Serving the ones I love.

Today my niece is getting married. She did have her wedding planned for next month. Today is the engagement party with 70 people coming.

On a whim, they decided to get married this morning and surprise their guest this afternoon. It will not be an engagement party, it will be a reception! That is living and loving!

Congratulations Bekah and Tom! May we all be inspired by your creativity and love for life!

I just lost my brother last month. He was 63 years old. He's 17 years older than me. He went in to have a small hole repaired in his heart, but evidently was not strong enough to have the surgery to begin with.

When he came back from the VA hospital in Nashville, he had pneumonia and went to the emergency room. This progressed to ICU and not knowing where he was.

High blood pressure, led to a stroke a day later and he was air lifted to UVA's ICU. His stroke was the bleeding kind. He was put on a ventilator, never woke up. Never responded to anything. He had one more stroke in the night. Then next morning, we decided to withdraw care. We watched him die.

He took the deep cleansing breath that you hear about. Then a minute or so later, when we thought he was gone, his upper body shifted and he sunk deep into the bed. I think that is when his spirit left his body. He didn't look like himself after that.

How much of our physical body is our spirit? We are our spirit. After that happened, I knew he was gone and I had to leave the room because there was nothing left except death.

We buried him May 23rd. The same day my sister Kathie died 22 years earlier. Same cemetar, all too strange.

My parents have experienced losing two children. Life is so precious.

We are cleaning out his stuff. It is in my garage. I keep thinking, the life that needs to be lived now is mine. His is gone. I can see the things he left behind. Things that were not used, things that meant nothing. I see some of those things in my house. I am wanting to clean them out as well.

The life that needs living is mine.

Fall is coming, school has started. I have a new job I am training for at Wegman's grocery store. I will become an expert in tea! Sounds like heaven.

I am cutting back on lessons, buying Rachel Rae's 30 minute meal magazine, and I'm trying to get household projects finished.

I have stopped worrying about Annie (my new Sheltie puppy) being too small. I took her to the vet and she told me she was "chunky". I guess I did a pretty good job fattening her up.... I can check that one off. Now to add anther walk to our day and make sure she takes a pound off, maybe I will shed a few in the process too!

Annie's chunky, Haley is considered old now (our Border Collie). I am officially the shortest member of our immediate family.

Change is good. I am glad for the changes coming. I need to keep that in mind. I do have specific ideas politically, but I know that it is going to be different whatever happens, and that is a good thing for all of us.

Just a few weeks ago I got a puppy. A little girl, black, white, little bit of brown Sheltie. She has black eyes. We named her Annie Tallulah. The kids call her Cujo sometimes for obvious puppy biting reasons. I think she's like a piglet. She runs around fast with her head tucked down low so fast, not even the cats can catch her. This reminds me of a little pig at a country fair greased up and turned loose to catch for a prize.

I have been spending more time outside than I have since I was a kid. I'm taking her out every few hours. Sometimes she takes her cue, other times the cats are out and it's just a total zoo. She's chasing, biting, taunting and I'm waiting, waiting, waiting. Then we come in and she pees on the carpet.

But, while I'm out there, the wind is blowing; the honeysuckle is blooming and the scent is picked up in the breeze. The trees are amazing and I now notice they have enough shade for me and a few chairs. I have lunch out there sometimes now. I have even learned that trees can be used for "bases", safe places. Or so it seems to Annie as she runs from the cats, stops at the trees and seems to say "safe!". I am a safe place for her too, the spot in the grass in between my feet.

I'm not afraid at night in my yard anymore. I hear the frogs at night. I explain the noises to Annie as if she understands because she sits very still cautiously until she feels safe. The rain is even okay. It's all amazing.

Been thinking a lot lately about ownership, about stuff and things that we say "my ....". I have a lot of those kind of things, as I suspect many Americans do. And we continue to accumulate more and more of the same, just different versions of it. Though, it has little to do with us really. Also what we do, our jobs. The first question asked when you meet someone "What do you do?" It isn't who you are, though many people feel it is.

I remember a feeling I had, it was just after having my first child. She was born by c-section, so I was recovering from surgery actually. I remember lying in the hospital bed listening to some music on headphones and having a distinct feeling that for the first time my body was useless to me. I couldn't get up, I was depended on others. Yet, inside there was peace in the midst of all the outside cues that pointed against it. I felt peace, in my chest, and I knew that it was my spirit. And my spirit was okay even though my body was a mess.

The same is true, your spirit has nothing to do with what your physical body is demanding. We need to seperate the two and see the difference. I am not my stuff, my job, my surroundings, my body. I am spirit. I am in God's image. And that part of me is what communicates with him and will be with him after my body is gone.

So, peace be with you. Deep peace, all the way down in your chest.

There is a church in the town I live in, that has a labyrinth on it's grounds. I decided to take a walk around it the other day with many things running around in my head. Mainly I was trying to figure out why it is that once I think I get things figured out they change. My path changes, I have to go another direction, I don't know where I am going anymore and I just hate that feeling. I would much rather see a path straight ahead lined up perfectly lit knowing exactly where to step, not making any mistakes and not stubbing my toe or having to avoid a branch or a rock, just perfectly lined up. That is what I'd like. That is not what I get. Ever.

This labyrinth was under construction too, some of the stones were set, some of the path was dirt. Interesting as I walked around and around and around, not knowing where I was going, but trusting I was going toward the center and the end I began to realize it didn't matter which way I went. I tried to relax and just walk, just go where the path took me. And then I realized that this is all I am being asked to do. I am just being asked to walk, keep walking towards the center... towards God. I need to let him take me down one path, then another, then a turn. Some paths might be paved, some might be really cool cobblestones, some might be mudd, rocks, sticks, glass... I need to trust he will cover my feet and he will keep speaking to me so I can hear his voice and keep walking towards it. But, I just need to keep walking, watch my step yes, don't fall; keep looking forward and just keep walking.

I have a new student, Alex... a free thinker. We started our lesson the other day and I tuned his guitar w/ my tuner. He asked me if I knew about the way to tune w/ the frets. So, I asked him to show me. I thought he was going to show me standard relative tuning... but, he showed me the Alex method!

ALEX'S METHOD gives you tuning w/ the octaves. Relative tuning as we know it, gives the same pitch.

Here's how Alex's method works:

Open E string to 7th fret A; Open A to 7th fret D; Open D to 7th fret G; THEN Open G to 8th fret B; back to Open B to 7th fret E.

A creative mind, creative start. I can't wait to see what else he discovers! Did I mention that he's 10 years old?

Happy tuning!

Most of us have heard of Relative tuning: down to the 5th fret of E string - pluck, pluck open Astring. They should be the same pitch, if not, match the 5th to the 6th. Continue this method (5th fret of A, open D; 5th fret of D, open G; THEN 4th fret of G, open B, back to 5th fret of B, open E. This will tune your guitar relatively to itself. Your top E string may not even be in tune, but the guitar will be in tune w/ itself. This is okay if you play by yourself, doesn't work when you play w/ others.... then you find out how flat or sharp the whole guitar is compared to standard tuning A 440.
Good Luck!

Many of my students have trouble getting started tuning. I cannot stress enough, BUY A GOOD TUNER. I recommend many, but just don't buy a cheap one. Look for a name brand in the $25-30 range. The ones that tune by vibration are nice. Intellitouch makes some nice ones, that is if you are not worried about plugging in directly to the tuner.

So, to start, know what you are going to tune your strings to! EBGDAE : Elvis Bought Guitars During An Eclipse! Strange, but you might remember it, that is the order of your open strings from the first (thinest) to the sixth (fattest).

Second: Your tuner will not tell you what to tune to. It will only tell you if a particular tone is in tune with the string. You can tune to anything. Open tunings are that, all different pitches. So, if you are looking for standard tuning EBGDAE then remember the order.

Depending upon your tuner, it will either have arrows or lights that blink with red being out of tune, green in tune or something. They are all different. Know how YOUR tuner is going to tell you when it is in tune.

NOW... place your tuner either on your headstock if it is by vibration or in front of your guitar if it is just picking up sound. Then pluck your first string. Find out WHAT the string note is as it is. THEN decide from there do I go up or down to get to the high E? Tune to E.
Go to your second string repeat: What is the tone? Is it below or above a B? Fix it according to your tuner. Ect...,

You will need to tune everytime you play. Everytime you take it out of the case and even while you are playing between songs sometimes after a long set.

You will need to tune extra often after changing strings. Go slowly, make sure you are turning in the correct direction by plucking your string the entire time you are checking the tone. Are you trying to tune up? Is the sound going up? Make sure. It is tricky to remember which way is down and up with the tuners in the beginning and you don't want to break a string.

Good Luck!

I have people ask me "How do I change my strings?" The simple answer is give it to me and I will do it for you... but, I don't always have time. And people need to learn to do it themselves.

I HATE changing strings. I have a fear of string breakage. Too many times as a teenager strings would pop and I would end up getting cut.

So, I will try to spare you the pain and give you the lessons learned.

First of all: buy good strings. I love Elixers. I love light strings for easy playing. But, that is a matter of preference.

Start off by unwinding your first (thinest) string at the headstock. Get enough unwound until you can grab the bit by the tuner and help it off. Then take the peg off by the bridge/saddle. ONLY TAKE OFF ONE STRING AT A TIME.

Lay your strings out from the package with the first string on the top of the stack. Take it out of the package, unwind it and find the ball on the end. Place the ball into the hole where the peg was. Replace the peg with the grove side towards the soundhole.

Now hold the string tightly and follow the fretboard down to the next groove on the nut. Place the string in the empty groove on the nut and then thread the string through the tuner for the high E string. Pull the string through, start to wind towards you, to the right. Listen to the string, make sure it is being tightened.

DO NOT TIGHTEN THIS STRING TO PITCH. Take the string part way up to the pitch that you need. Leave it, let it rest. Proceed to your next string.

Repeat this process until you are finished and in between each string go back and tighten each of the previous strings slightly.

By the time you get to the 6th (fattest) string they should all be tuned to about the right pitches.

Watch out and listen carefully for slippage and drops in pitches as you are tuning up and tightening. That is a warning to back off a bit. Bring the string back up to tighter pitch slowly. Otherwise, you risk breaking a string.

New strings go out of pitch very easily. Don't plan on playing a gig right after changing strings, bad move. Play them and let them stretch and get to their correct tension.

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Good luck!

May we all pick small enough resolutions to be able to keep them! Maybe daily resolutions would be good, small goals, small steps that lead us to a bigger goal. A friend told me her favortie quote from a conference one time was "just do the next thing". I like to think about that when my plate is full, when life sends too many balls my way to juggle. Just do the next thing. Eventually it will all get done. As long as we keep moving forward, keep hoping, dreaming, and taking those small steps. One day at a time, that is all we can do in reality. So, here's to reality, to dreams and to doing the next thing, whatever that may be! Cheers!

It's been a long time coming, and it's not finished yet... but, I have a sample of score of one of my liturgical compositions on the web site now. I still am working on getting them registered with ccli, and I am continuing to tweak the other scores. But, I do see a very faint light at the end of the tunnel. Or maybe it's a passage way that I will just continue to go through. I hope to make the complete versions available for downloads for a small fee. Godspeed.

This past weekend I attended the New Song Festival and competed in the Live Round. Lots of amazing people, and great songs all around. It took place in Shepherdstown, WV and I traveled through Harpers Ferry over the Shennandoah to get there all back roads. I past lots of cemetaries, mountains and dirt roads. I had some really strong images of my grandmother, her children, my coal mining grandfather and his work while driving all around that area. I came home and wrote a song "Julia May" that is about my grandmother's two year old daughter who died of pneumonia. She was the child right before my mother was born. My mother lived in her shadow her whole life. But, my grandmother never got over her and never was able to properly grieve for her baby girl. I hope the song honors Julia May, and somehow even after all these years gives my grandmother the chance to say goodbye to her grief. Because I am sure they are together now.

Just got back from my second trip to the Swannanoa Gathering. This time was just as good, maybe better since I knew what to take advantage of. I met lots of new friends, jammed a bit more and stayed up later. I took a Bluegrass class, Performance class, and a Song Lab. Great instructors.... great time. Now for the readjustment to reality...and practicing.

Deciphering the guitar fretboard can be a challenge at times. But, if you know your theory you can apply it to the fretboard just as you would a keyboard. Or you might want to think of your fretboard as a graph where there are similar properities and patterns repeated.

When tuning our guitars relatively we go to the 5th fret and find the note for the next string down (6th is the top, 1st is the bottom). This means that the 5th fret note on any string is a 4th higher than the open note, or the 4th degree of that scale. That is, the first two pitches of "Here comes the bride".

Likewise, the 7th fret is a 5th higher than the open note. And the 10th fret is a 7th higher than the open note. The 12th fret is always the octave (same note).

The only string that does not follow this pattern is the 3rd string (G). On this string the 4th fret is the 4th degree of the scale. The other frets follow the pattern mentioned above.

Once you have these markers memorized and have them in your ears as well, you will easily be able to find other notes surrounding them which will very quickly cover the entire fretboard.

Good luck!

I've just come back from near Asheville, NC... my first year at the Swannanoa Gathering. The first day was tough leaving the kids and home. But, as soon as classes started our schedule was packed from 7:30 a.m -2:00 a.m if we wanted it to be. I rode down with Gina DeSimone and got to know her better, that was such a great opportunity.

I took three classes with three great instructors: Steve James, Steve Baughman and Ernie Hawkins. Hopefully from spending time in their instruction I will be a better teacher and player.

I have a renewed respect for what the guitar can do and how it should be played. I'm Alice falling into the rabbit hole again saying "I had no idea this was all here...".

The other great thing was the community of people there and the song circles after the concerts. People just wandered about from tent to tent playing musci (fiddle week and folk week people were there too). Such beautiful music in the mountains. And the thunder during the storms was unreal. It bounced back and forth, rolling around until it settled somewhere in the valley. Swannanoa in everyway was an auditory awakening. I can't wait to go back next year!